We have all come across someone who lies to us on various occasions or we might ourselves have lied to others depending on what circumstances we are in. Sometimes, it is possible that the person who is lying to you might not be doing it on purpose. Therefore, you need to be careful or rather wise while dealing with a person who lies. You might face a lot of situations like this, however, the basic structure of your reactions remain the same.
A few key factors that play an important role in determining how to situation is handled as discussed below. The following things need to be considered while dealing with the liar. So, without any further delay let’s get started.
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Find the cause of being lied to
You need to figure out the cause or the source of the cause why a person might have had lied to you. Figuring out the reason might be a little difficult for you. However, it helps in easy understanding of the situation and prevents further worsening of the matter. You can either ask the person directly which puts him at a minus already and thus prevents him from making up more stories to cover up. The first line to find the cause also means that this person now is a point of attention and is unable to cause any further confusion.
Moreover, you might also discover an unexpected cause of being lied to, hence this might solve the matter to an extent. The liar might have any compulsion to lie in the given situation and might not be the actual culprit. By trying to figure out the cause you are not only taking a step towards understanding the situation but also giving the liar a fair chance to prove himself not guilty.
Try to understand the situation
This is the first and foremost step in handling a situation where you are being lied to. The liar might be in a situation that actually needed him to lie or to hide a fact to handle the prevailing circumstances. For this, you first need to have an overview of the situation and understand clearly the matter from the person’s point of view. The matter actually might be very different from what it appears to be from your angle. However, to avoid any further mess from being created out of the situation, it is quite necessary and cannot be avoided.
Understanding the situation helps you to deduct the causes and also gives the person a fair chance of improving this habit in the future and coming out of this filthy habit of lying.
Confront the person
In case you have come to know about a person who has lied to you previously or is lying to you at present from someone else, you as a human being need to give him a fair chance of keeping his side of the story and proving himself clear of guilt.
Confronting a liar sends a clear notice to him that you are well aware of his actions and that any further repeated behaviour will not be tolerated. It also tells the person that he is now the centre of attention of the people and that him lying again might get him into more serious trouble.
Confronting the person needs not to be in public premises if this person is somebody that you hold dear. You can talk to him personally and make it clear that this behaviour is not worth appreciation. It should also be mentioned that this habit might land the whole relationship in great trouble.
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Tell them that you are not accepting it
Other than confronting and trying to understand the situation, the liar also needs to know that under any circumstances this behaviour is not accepted. He needs to understand the gravity of the situation and that this behaviour of lying might cause him and others trouble which puts him at stake.
A clear notice about this should be delivered to the liar and strict actions must be taken whenever necessary.
No matter how bad a circumstance might be, a lie is definitely not something to be taken easy and thus, this step is very important in dealing with a liar. Whether it is a clear verbal notice or a written one, it should be mentioned that either he needs to change his behaviour towards the matter and take responsibility for his actions or he might have to pay it later on in due course of time.
Try to avoid the person henceforth
In case you have come across a liar in your work circle or the person is known generally for this habit, you need to immediately make this clear to him that this habit repeated again in the future will only cause poisoning of relations. You can also right then and there cut off any dealings that you might have had with the person.
In case the liar is a child or a teenager, you might have to reconsider the whole situation again in a different way. Children and teenagers are very vulnerable to various circumstances and might be easily carried away. They may lie to you under a certain pressure that you might not understand and you need to understand that cutting away ties with this child or teen will only make the matter worse.
However, in the case of adults, they are mostly well aware of the circumstances and can be held responsible for their actions. If you decide to cut ties with such a person, this might be the best thing to do.
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Takeaway: The whole situation of lying and being lied to is a tricky one and might be determined by several factors and might not be as simple as it appears. Generally, you as the judge of the whole matter need to be very careful and balance the circumstances before coming to a decision. The various factors that we have discussed in the article and a few others that might have been missed need to be analysed correctly in order to understand the matter and act on it accordingly.