The fact that a divorce destroys a person not only emotionally, but also physically cannot be denied. Basically, divorce sucks, no matter how you slice it. The divorce rates are increasing every day around the world. The reasons range from alcoholism, infidelity, lack of communication, physical abuse etc. in today’s world, quick divorces are no longer a shocking matter. A vast number of marriages end up in divorces. A marriage is a two-way thing. You cannot expect your marriage to work by the efforts of only one partner. Both the partners need to work on the marriage. If you’re thinking about getting a divorce, ask yourself the questions “Why?” and “Can we make it work?”. If getting a divorce does not help your current situation then maybe it is not a good idea to get divorced. It has been found in a survey that a huge number of married couples that stay together even after not being happy, end up being happy together about not getting a divorce later in life.
Here, we have listed the top 10 reasons not to get a divorce and why you need to rethink your decision.
1. For the kids: It is the first and foremost reason you need to consider before getting a divorce: the kids. Always think about how the divorce would affect the children. Kids never get over such experiences. Their lives will never be the same. They never get over the permanent breakup of their families. Kids who come from broken families often suffer from self-esteem problems, emotional and mental trauma. They feel torn between their mom and dad. It hurts them badly to see their parents and families falling apart.
2. The custody: This reason is linked with the previous reason as it deals with children. A divorce changes the dynamics of a family. If your children are also involved in the process, you will become familiar with a dirty word, custody. The thoughts of having to share your kids with your ex-partner are quite intimidating. You will not have your kids around you all the time like you used to have. You will miss your kids when they are not with you. There is nothing like the pain of a parent missing his or her child. Getting a divorce also means walking away from your children.
3. Loss of confidence: After going through divorces, people start losing their confidence. They start questioning themselves. They become reluctant to make commitments and to get married again. They had failed in marriage once and they do not want to fail in it again. Some newly divorced people start serial dating. Their confidence in desirability is affected. They may fall into a rebound relationship.
4. Loss of identity: When you are married, you are someone’s husband or wife. Even if you have problems in the marriage, you still know that you are someone’s ‘Mr.’ or ‘Mrs.’. But once the marriage ends, you are no longer someone’s husband or wife. Women feel this problem the most because they go from ‘Mrs.’ to ‘Miss’ which is a bit uncomfortable. The position you get in the society through marriage is taken away by divorce.
5. Emotional Trauma: For most of the people, divorce is devastating, emotionally. All your dreams are shattered which you were counting on when you decided to marry your partner. Divorce separates you from that person whom you thought would stay with you for an entire lifetime. No one can deny the pain that comes with divorce. This pain is often ignored and sometimes, it is even covered up by a new relationship. People do not stay the same after their divorce.
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6. Loss of family: This is one of the most difficult parts of getting a divorce. For some people, it is the most painful as well. It is often said that when you get married, you do not marry your partner but his or her family as well. The same goes for divorce as well. When you divorce your partner, you divorce his or her entire family. Maybe you do not end your relationship with them, but things will definitely change.
7. Loss of friends: Your social life will surely change after a divorce. Someone’s marital status is actually very important in the society. Most of the couples like being friends with other couples. Being friends with two singles instead of a couple is quite disturbing for them. They often feel forced to take sides. They don’t feel comfortable being friends with a divorced person. Hence, divorce makes you lose friends.
8. Financial Problems: When two people are together, they work together and accumulate good reputation and assets. But once, you are divorced, this building process is disrupted and both of you need to start from the scratch. Divorce is also an expensive process. You need to pay for the legal proceedings, children’s custody, lawyer’s fee etc. Your assets also get divided. Even after the divorce, financial instability is prevalent because you start paying for two houses, instead of one. Raising a kid is also a huge cost. All of these are very hard situations, economically.
9. Second marriage: No one likes to be alone and spend the rest of his or her life alone after getting a divorce. Most of the people believe in second chances and hope for a better future. But it cannot be denied that there are a lot of complications in a second marriage. You are less innocent and the history might even repeat itself. You have a constant fear of getting divorced again. You do want to love again but are scared of it and it is not a good way to start a marriage. If your kids are involved too, they may not like the entrance of someone new in their lives, which is very natural.
10. The promises: The most important reasons not to get a divorce are wedding vows. Both of you promised to stay together and married forever. You promised to stay with them in sickness and in health and for richer and poorer. You promised to love and cherish. Wedding vows keep you together when nothing else does.
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Hence, we have concluded the ten reasons why you should not get a divorce. If you have a choice to make the marriage work, then do it. Consider all the above-mentioned points and then take any decision. You need to consider the consequences before you get divorced.