How to be a super daughter-in-law

In most of the marriages, especially in India the relationship with the in-law’s matter as much as the relationship required between the two partners. Loving your partner is not enough, you have to love and respect your in-laws too or it can become a major problem that gives you constant tension and creates trouble in your married life.

While both men and women have to face the challenges of getting along with their in-laws, it is the woman who is affected the most in such cases. Around 60 per cent of women face tensions in their marriages because of having troubles with their mother-in-law. So, for all such women out there, here are 10 ways for you to become the perfect daughter-in-law and maintain the equilibrium of your marriage.

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1. A positive attitude always helps

You need to understand that just like you are new to this whole being a daughter-in-law situation, your mother-in-law is also new to her role too. Be positive towards her, try to understand her by seeing things from her perspective and that would ensure the building of a peaceful and understanding relationship between you and her.

2. Treat both your mother and mother-in-law equally

Equality is a key factor in such relationships. It might be a little weird for you but try treating your mother-in-law just like you treat your mother, visit her just as frequently as you visit your mother. If you are giving a gift to your mother on her birthday, then do the same for your mother-in-law.

3. Try to be sensitive towards her

You need to accept the fact that the lady has spent a significant part of her life raising her son, and now that you are his centre of attention, she might act a little possessive. In such times when she does so, try to be sensitive towards her and don’t hurt her feelings by trying to compete with her in asserting your importance in your husband’s life.

4. Treat her with respect

This is an absolute thing, do whatever you may but do not disrespect your mother-in-law. Know that she is old and wise, she has seen much more of life than you have and may have endured a lot of hardships. Talk to her, ask her about her life, her childhood, she would start liking you when you show interest in her life and that would ensure the formation of a strong bond between the two of you.

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5. Try to understand the expectations of your in-laws

When you come to the family after marrying your husband, knowing your in-laws completely would take some time. You need to understand that they will have some expectations of you and that does not mean that you should change yourself to fulfill their expectations but you should definitely make some efforts to adjust yourself and try to fit in as much as you can with your new family.

6. You should be attentive

When your in-law’s visit, try and be attentive towards them, show them around the city and spend some quality time with them so you can form a bonding. If your mother-in-law wishes to help you manage the house then let her, it would help develop an understanding between the two of you. But, if she is ordering you around, don’t be submissive and ask your husband to help you out.

7. Share important information

You should frequently contact your mother-in-law, ask about how she has been doing, tell her all the important things going on in your life, just make her feel that she is involved in your life. Send her the pictures of your kids, or tell her about the promotion you got, it would make her feel good.

8. Take the advice of your mother-in-law

You should feel free to seek advice from her, she has had years of experience and even if you do not agree with her ideas, just show respect and listen. Realize that she only wishes to be helpful and so do not take any of her words as some sort of a personal attack.

9. Let her be an awesome grandmother

You must understand that your mother-in-law would probably love your kids more than she loved her own. Let your kids spend some quality time with her, let her take care of them and when she spoils them a little then let her be a cool granny.

10. Communicate with your mother-in-law

Communication is the key to any healthy relationship and so you must make attempts to talk to her. If something she said hurt you or is bothering you sorts it out in a peaceful manner with her. Don’t straight away jump to fights, try to solve the problems you have with her peacefully.

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So, these were 10 ways for all the married women out there to build a healthy and happy relationship with your in-laws such that they do not become a tension for you and hamper your marriage.